I’ve Been Summoned To Criminal Court

I couldn’t sleep this morning. I had what sounded like a herd of elephants on my roof. Because of all the storm damage on our house, a new roof was necessary, and today was my lucky day to get it. As shingles flew off the old roof and hammers blew nails into their new home, I couldn’t have slept even if I wanted to.

Not only did the sporadic hammering feel like Chinese torture, but Baby Baker #2 must have heard the roofers and decided to try his hand at hammering. It felt like he was punching the inside of my stomach with his fist. When he stopped that, he decided to do what felt like jumping jacks which of course were followed by summer salts. My sleep was being attacked from every angle.

Even if I could have slept through the elephants on our roof, and Baby B’s karate kicks, I would not have been peacefully resting because I had other things on my mind. This in particular…

Yes, I have been summoned to jury duty. And yes, I am panicking about it. I mean what if I actually get put on a jury? Even worse what if I am the thirteenth person they choose as a substitute and I don’t even get a say?

I have tried to think of every excuse in the world to get out of jury duty, but I doubt any of them will fly. The best thing I have going for me is that I’m pregnant and due around when I might be asked to serve. But what if that isn’t a good enough excuse?

Just think about all there is to worry about. What if I can’t find the building? Then I will be summoned to court for a very different reason and this time I’ll be the guilty one trying to explain why I couldn’t figure out the directions on a sign. What if I speak out of turn and blurt out in the middle of court, “He’s lying!” What if….

As you can see, Blondie over here needs to be excused for more reasons than one. But I believe the biggest reason is “Pregnancy Brain.” Pregnancy brain for those of you who don’t know is when a pregnant woman becomes very forgetful. What would happen if I temporarily become stupid when being questioned. They ask, “Do you believe in capital punishment?” I scratch the top of my head as if that term sounds familiar but reply, “What’s that?”

Guys, I can’t even remember what I ate for lunch two days ago, and yet I am supposed to judge whether or not someone is guilty of a crime. I have not been summoned to a simple civil court. Oh no, I have been summoned to criminal court where there are criminals! I believe this is even more reason for this blonde head to be excused.

All of that to say, there may be many interesting posts coming about jury duty which I guess is a fun reason to go. Adventure with criminal court here I come.


One thought on “I’ve Been Summoned To Criminal Court

  1. I would love to see you with your fluffy pink pen taking notes as one of the jurors on a criminal case. It makes me chuckle just to think about it. By the way, I think you would be a great juror. You were always interested in justice and law as a kid! I remember many court rooms set up in our house…but you were always the judge…hee hee

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