A Swift Breakdown

Here is a letter I wrote to my mom after going to a doctor’s appointment without her help.

Dear Mom,

Have I ever told you how much I appreciate you? Well today I figured out how much I really do. Although you may think it is a small thing to come to the doctor’s office with me, it isn’t. I didn’t know that for months you have been saving my sanity and keeping me from wanting to jump off of a cliff head first.

Here is how my appointment went without you…

As Elias and I raced out the door, I grabbed last-minute snacks, toys, and water cups and tossed them into the diaper bag. He and I were going to attempt to make it through our first appointment without Nanny’s every present help.

Leaving way too early, because I was paranoid about being late, I had time to fly through a Starbucks drive through and get a coffee and some banana bread for Elias and I to share. We arrived at the Doctor’s office twenty minutes early. I wiggled my way into the back seat of the van and Elias and I enjoyed some banana bread together. This brought a giant smile to my baby’s face. Elias was very happy. When my appointment was supposed to start in ten minutes I started to unload Elias, and we made our way into the building. He wanted to walk, but there is a dangerous road by his office so I carried him, the diaper bag, my coffee, and my big belly.

Once inside I started juggling everything while trying to sign in. I scribbled my name and began to wrestle with my wallet to find my new insurance card. I practically threw them at the poor secretary while telling Elias where to stand. I didn’t know the information when she asked me about the insurance so I frantically started texting Mark who was teaching his class. He didn’t text me back right away so I started to sweat.

As I began to feel panicky, I began to smell something very disturbing. Yes, it was my son wearing a diaper that desperately needed to be changed. Trying not to let my eyes water from the terrible smell I asked the secretary if there was a bathroom with a changing station in it. She pointed down the hall.

I gathered up all of my things and trudged down the hall. When I got to the bathroom I found the tiniest changing table I had ever seen. It was probably big enough for a mouse. Placing baby Huey on the changing table, I found my worst nightmare. Let’s just say it was an explosive diaper that managed to creep up the back and down the thighs… It was crazy. I hadn’t dealt with this since he was a tiny baby and here I was trying not to become nauseous. You get the picture. BAD NEWS!!!!

After giving him a bath with wipes, I was tempted to put him in the sink for a real bath, but that is kind of gross for everyone else so I didn’t.

Trying to keep myself together, I put his clothes back on and snuck back to the waiting room. Let me just say they call it a waiting room for good reason. After one hour had passed, I thought I might need to check myself into a white padded room for my own safety. Elias did really well, but we were on the brink of a meltdown…at any moment. He was frantically asking to leave. We had looked at every picture, waved bye-bye to every car, played with all of his toys, looked at his books, and there was nothing left to do.

I finally asked the secretary how long it would be. Of course she didn’t know. I tried to remain calm, but they kept calling people who had come in after me, and when I was nearly alone in the waiting room tears began to swell in my eyes. One hour with a toddler who has nothing to do is enough to send anybody into hysteria. I was about to lose it.

Right when I was about to leave the building they called me. I am really surprised that I didn’t have high blood pressure when they checked it. Elias sat nicely on my lap while they did the usual checks.

When we went to hear the baby’s heartbeat Elias had to sit in a chair all alone, and quickly he began to cry. Of course I was laying on a table with my big belly in the air, and couldn’t help him. He didn’t like that the nurse was pulling out all of these tools and putting them on my stomach.  He didn’t move a muscle on the chair, but he really didn’t like that we had to be apart. There was nothing I could do. Tears toppled over his cheeks and I had to lay there. The poor nurse was trying to hurry but it takes time. Oh the drama…

After she left, I calmed Elias down and our second wait began. Thankfully we were alone and Elias could run around the room. He wanted to lay on the bed like I had just done. He thought that was pretty funny. When we were on the verge of our second meltdown, the doctor finally came in and talked to Elias in his Donald Duck voice. That cheered him up.

The doctor said everything looked good, but suggested I get physical therapy for my back. I think because I’ve been carrying Elias around I’ve really hurt it. After that he gave me the rundown on what would happen next time.

When I went to check out they had no appointment times that would work so she told me she would call me later.

Finally we got to leave.

On the way home she called me and told me I’d need to come back in a week! That was enough to almost send me into labor right there. I don’t want to go back in a week. I was tempted to tell her “no” and that I’ll call them if anything happens, but I complied and said, “ok, see you in a week.”

Anyway, I appreciate you mom. I never knew how much it helped to have another person watching Elias. Thanks for always coming! I love you and hope you are having fun on your trip…..please come home soon…before my next appointment…haha!

-Ashley

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6 thoughts on “A Swift Breakdown

  1. Pingback: A Spoonful Of Insight | Pencilled Daydream

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