I think I’ve lost my mind! I am actually wishing labor upon myself. Everybody knows that only a crazy person would actually wish something as hard as labor upon themself, especially when they’ve done it before. But here I am having thoughts of running marathons and jumping as high as I can on a trampoline in order for this baby to come. I’m telling you I’m crazy!
I first knew I was losing my mind when I found myself praying, yes praying, for contractions the other day. I think I desperately need help and should probably go see a counselor or something.
I am not only losing my mind because I want to go into labor, but because I truly believe that it will never happen. I have visions of eternal pregnancy. I believe somehow I will be the one person who stays pregnant forever. I imagine my family of three staying a family of three because number four will never be born. I think I’ll actually be shocked when/if this baby ever comes.
I am due in about two weeks and I shouldn’t even be thinking about labor, yet it is never far from my mind. Am I freaking out? No! I’m in denial/ temporarily insane. Have I packed my hospital bag? No! Have I mentally prepared for labor? Nope! I am stuck in limbo land as I wait.
On that note, I am going to go try to think about packing my hospital bag. I’ll probably end up checking Facebook, but maybe thinking about it is a good start.